The third night this week spent awake staring at the ceiling. Awake long past the socially acceptable norms of bed time. Sleep refused to make an appearance and a lovelorn heart wasn’t to be blamed. What was to be blamed was a 2 hour afternoon nap..and an extra strong cup of coffee at 10 PM. Counting sheep didn’t help, nor did the book I had picked for some light reading (which wasn’t surprising considering it was of the Chetan Bhagat variety!!). Watching television didn’t help either, nor colouring away in one of those “relaxing mandalam books” (which seem to be the rage these days). Basically they are coulouring books for adults (whereby “adult” simply means they will have complex and difficult patterns!!!), where you can colour outside of the lines if you want (because you are an adult and you listen only to yourself!!)
I resigned myself to spending more than half the night tossing and turning, praying I didn’t look like a raccoon on waking up (pesky dark circles!). Strange how the quiet of the night always gets to you, delves deep into the mind, forces one to relive moments long forgotten. Imaginations always run wilder and faster and farther at night…it wasn’t long before the Brain started coming up with the most absurd things. Started with ordinary, enjoyable daydreams (yes you can daydream at night!!). Impossible scenarios followed, replaying perfect (and engineered) versions of arguments which I should have won, incidents that should have happened, the times which almost were…but weren’t. Scenes of how I would save everyone if an earthquake were to strike, or how I would save an entire cafe from a terrorist attack..or save some unbelievably hot guy from drowning or some such!! (Let us convinently ignore the fact that a large cockroach is enough to scare the living daylights out of me…perhaps not terrorists!!)
But soon the Brain started digging up sinister and dark and deep stuff. Embarrassing situations from years ago, stupid decisions, ghosts of the past. Funny how the dark stuff is always given first priority over happy stuff. This should be as good a moment for introspection as any, and deciding to intervene before things got out of hand, “Stop it stupid and tired Brain. Go to sleep.” “Let me remind you, you are the maker, I am just the tool”.
Waav! Trust the brain to come up with stupid shit like that. Brain went into a frenzy after that, to dig up every dark thought possible. A whirlwind followed. All incidents playing like an endless movie. Words and scenes and lines jumbling up and falling over….every thought about everything ranging from face wash to Dementors. “Okay enough Brain!! Just switch off!!!Let me sleep”
“Can’t. You are the maker”
Alright this needed to stop. “Fine Brain; remember how we watched Conjuring that day? The ghost that jumps off the dresser. Well, in case you haven’t noticed, there’s a dresser just like that in this room!” The whirlwind of thoughts stopped suddenly. Dead calm. “Ohh now your’re listening. Good. And you would also do well to remember that exceedingly scary figure….which stands at the foot of the bed in the middle of the night! Also remember Shadow men! Also the ghost in the painting from that book…..and let’s not forget that red-eyed old lady from Shutter Island!!” The Brain, having finally realized its duties got busy preparing the body for fight or flight! Ears pricked for the slightest sounds, goosebumps arose on the arms, the spine tingled. A loud ticking of the clock could be heard from somewhere (the clock in my room of course..which looks quite harmless during the day and can’t be heard at all). An eerie light cast at the window, just for a second, from a passing vehicle. A strange shuffling from outside the closed door….a rustling in the bushes below my bedroom window was the last straw…..that and a distinctly loud fidgeting noise which definitely didn’t sound like a stray dog…
Under the blankets in a jiffy..hugging my pillow…the brain finally allowed sleep to make its presence felt. So much for Insomia!!! 🙂 🙂 😛
The Merry Dilettante 