Perfection.. is in hindsight…

It starts quite simply..the desire to be perfect. You picture it in your minds eye..Perfect job, perfect friends, perfect life…its so tantalizingly close..crystal clear..but only in your mind. You spend restless hours agonizing over the “perfect” whatever…not realizing that it is the perfect of Neverland, the “fake”perfect of impossible standards, of deceptive appearances…

And before you know it, the impossible standards have crept in, leaving you struggling and floundering, trying to get your “less than perfect” life onto the track (Not quite stopping to think if it at all, it has ever been “off track”)

“Ohh boo hoo”, you whine. No perfect Job, no perfect Boyfriend, no grandiose accolades won, no perfect Instagram worthy happenstance in this mediocre life of mine. (‘Umm, actually, in case you hadn’t noticed, its no job and no boyfriend’. Evil inner voices can be such bitches!!!) and there you go on, harboring the image of that constructed “perfect” in the back of your mind (Sighing dramatically at the least of inconveniences life throws at you).

And the one day, during a party game, you find yourself describing your perfect day out loud. And then you catch your breath, as you realize that you’ve lived that day already. Not once or twice but many times over. And then all those perfect moments, the truly perfect ones, come back. First a trickle, then a flood. That “first job” treat, those sounds of laughter and merrymaking before everyone went their separate ways to start new lives. That one night during a terrace sleepover, a sky full of stars and your feet dangling off the edge, laughter and conversations filling the background. That one successful Kokan trip, dinners by the beach, lying under the stars. That one night scared shitless, wondering just how the hell that Planchett worked!!!  The tekdi walks with your bestie..the long conversations stretching into the wee hours of the morning, the laboriously organised skype sessions…that one time you were finally brave enough to kill the large winged cockroach(none but the devil himself) on your own. The glorious days spent on treks in the mountains..where nature made your problems seem very very small and insignificant and you would give anything to feel like that again…..Picture perfect

And its in moments like these that you wish you had tiny DSLRs fit into the insides of your eyes. To capture moments and take pictures as your eyes see it…in the moment. Or you wish you could bottle up all that laughter, to be opened at moments where you’d rather the earth swallowed you whole. And then maybe one day, you will realize that you carry the “perfect”around within you. And maybe one day you wont be so blind as to not see this ‘perfect’ happening when it does. and one day perhaps you would open your eyes and your heart and live the perfect as it happens….